We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
