you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Non-Jews are for practice
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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