I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
