I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.