Texts From Last Night

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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.

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  (413): All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing. http://tfl.nu/1chf
  Replies (13) Good night (3945) Bad night (1220)
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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  :( I miss blowjobs.

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.

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  (862): :( I miss blowjobs. (973): This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had. http://tfl.nu/jn5t
  Replies (22) Good night (2886) Bad night (806)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged

  (703): View more from Virginia

  just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit

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  (540): my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged (703): just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit http://tfl.nu/pac5
  Replies (61) Good night (1736) Bad night (12318)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".

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  (330): Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay". http://tfl.nu/1f7s
  Replies (31) Good night (6156) Bad night (1348)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?

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  (503): What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you? http://tfl.nu/o1lb
  Replies (27) Good night (1176) Bad night (5477)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way

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  (972): The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way http://tfl.nu/ldbl
  Replies (22) Good night (5211) Bad night (1494)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'

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  (636): The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.' http://tfl.nu/hueh
  Replies (10) Good night (1065) Bad night (4409)
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  (619): View more from California

  Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex

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  (619): Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex http://tfl.nu/ckpn
  Replies (15) Good night (3349) Bad night (1102)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.

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  (608): She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism. http://tfl.nu/czkn
  Replies (4) Good night (1754) Bad night (599)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing

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  (269): he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing http://tfl.nu/dbp3
  Replies (6) Good night (1302) Bad night (2506)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  the night ended with taco bell and tears

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  (206): the night ended with taco bell and tears http://tfl.nu/rh7j
  Replies (10) Good night (930) Bad night (1525)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.

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  (617): Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place. http://tfl.nu/haup
  Replies (14) Good night (804) Bad night (2236)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?

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  (203): Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish? http://tfl.nu/j5ph
  Replies (2) Good night (613) Bad night (340)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.

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  (770): They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls. http://tfl.nu/suw6
  Replies (4) Good night (492) Bad night (285)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.

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  (517): She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off. http://tfl.nu/rnkc
  Replies (1) Good night (342) Bad night (526)

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