god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Randomize
