Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.

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  (202): I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me. http://tfl.nu/uo6c
  Replies (111) Good night (2643) Bad night (36441)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students

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  (773): somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students http://tfl.nu/zxwh
  Replies (8) Good night (4443) Bad night (1056)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that

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  (940): nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that http://tfl.nu/ymub
  Replies (22) Good night (9579) Bad night (1200)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.

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  (570): You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol. http://tfl.nu/n8ii
  Replies (11) Good night (1001) Bad night (3500)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.

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  (404): And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT. http://tfl.nu/u1ny
  Replies (26) Good night (5563) Bad night (859)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you

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  (519): I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you http://tfl.nu/mvu5
  Replies (6) Good night (3049) Bad night (1036)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.

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  (706): thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel. http://tfl.nu/lqer
  Replies (9) Good night (3246) Bad night (999)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.

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  (425): He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that. http://tfl.nu/0n60
  Replies (9) Good night (3027) Bad night (990)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.

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  (647): we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana. http://tfl.nu/zk8n
  Replies (6) Good night (3108) Bad night (803)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.

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  (404): I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks. http://tfl.nu/r45q
  Replies (20) Good night (3789) Bad night (1015)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again

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  (402): I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again http://tfl.nu/3l87
  Replies (0) Good night (893) Bad night (506)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  whats our policy on dating high schoolers?

  (1-231): View more from Michigan

  we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does

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  (231): whats our policy on dating high schoolers? (1-231): we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does http://tfl.nu/ul27
  Replies (8) Good night (2262) Bad night (649)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out

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  (206): Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out http://tfl.nu/3o9i
  Replies (0) Good night (418) Bad night (320)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.

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  (361): I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed. http://tfl.nu/dhso
  Replies (0) Good night (564) Bad night (259)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.

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  (813): Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to. http://tfl.nu/wkiq
  Replies (3) Good night (340) Bad night (556)

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