guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men