I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
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You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.