im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.