So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
