So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Randomize