I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize