All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
He passed out mid-signature
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
