Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
