Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
