Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
