So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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