You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
