she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
