Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I faked an abortion last night.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
