It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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