is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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