I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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