i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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