im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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