We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
