We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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