Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
