She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
