He asked to "fluff my boner.."
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
