I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
