Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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