no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I deserve this hangover.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
