you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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