i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
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