today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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