im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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