Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
there is glitter all over my balls
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize