On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
