she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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