i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
