Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
