I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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