Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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