Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
