She tied me up with her honor cords...
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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