About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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