then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
FUCK WHALES
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
