Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
