So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
