I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
