You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
