ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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