what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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