Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
