Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
