If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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