Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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