I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
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