what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize