I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
So vagazzling was a success
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
