bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
